You are settling for something just so you can say you have it, can’t you tell. You got into the relationship so you can make the announcement to Facebook, brag to it about it to your ‘friends’ and you figure depending on your relationship with your family there is bond for jealousy. So you’re in this relationship even though there isn’t anything real about it. But the image it has and what you tell yourself to feel is enough to make you stay.
You stay even though; you wait by the phone for his call.
You stay even though; you know you’re just a number.
You stay even though; you aren’t getting anything you want out of your ‘relationship’.
You stay even though; you are telling yourself what to feel.
What you don’t understand is you don’t have to do this to please your ego.
You’re pleasing him with his distant I see you when I see you visits and the ass he gets as soon as he asks with no questions needed. You’re seen as easy in his eyes. Let me guess, you think its love. When the following occurs:
- He whispers in your ear how much he loves you. But then he fucks you.
- He randomly texts you, in regards to what you’re doing.
- He makes you smile.
- He has you feeling like you are in the movies.
The prey of the wet tightness in your god forsaken pants, and his deep strokes sends your warmth into a panic, and this is only if you’re not having sex. There are the girls who are waiting out and then there are the girls who feel like they have something to prove.
Please remember the following:
Your self esteem is a reflection of what you allow to happen and what you do your best to prevent. Staying prisoner to something just so you can smile half of the time and lie to yourself the whole time.
Be strong, smart enough to know your worth.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Song of the Week- Would’ve been the one
This is a snap your fingers song by Solange Knowles. I love the beat of the song. Once this week I had this song on repeat to the point where I was just listening to it, I think this song is beautifully written. And though I am not going through what Solange is going through. Being in a relationship requires communication, which lacks since the said brother is a player. He is possession of about nine mistresses. Despite his tattoo of her name and the linage of feelings they have between each other.
Favorite lines are but limited to:
- And you don’t know you steal many spaces,
- She don’t know she is one of many loves.
- We can’t fix him if we tried
- She was cool with just fooling around.
- I would’ve been the one
- And he if loved me that much and still did be wrong, I feel sorry for you just for holding on.
Yeah so check it out. This song makes me want to download every Solange song right about now.
Favorite lines are but limited to:
- And you don’t know you steal many spaces,
- She don’t know she is one of many loves.
- We can’t fix him if we tried
- She was cool with just fooling around.
- I would’ve been the one
- And he if loved me that much and still did be wrong, I feel sorry for you just for holding on.
Yeah so check it out. This song makes me want to download every Solange song right about now.
Summer Romance
Perception of the miscalculations that coexist
With his wants and her divine lack of time
Struggling with her words and longing for his lips
Eyes are closed and watered,
As she masks her tears
Listens to her need of his aroma but smokes
His scent into her lungs until she has enough of him
Then she spits him out.
Cries and wants him some more
Helplessly she can’t seem to figure herself out.
What she wants and why she puts up with his speedy visits
And the shallow I-don’t-see-you-for-weeks.
It just can’t be love, it can’t be lust
It is the lack of presence and so much trust that was made up but not love.
Love doesn’t exist, to her.
She thought that is what she was in once,
But then and even the time before that,
She was forcing emotions
Between herself and the other, his name irrelevant, like the summer to her.
Baffled by the triangular relationship she tiptoed into his realm of
Being a bachelor and the ideology of him wanting her.
She loves him enough. There isn’t an emphasis on the word or huge gallant smile
On her sculpted cherry red face when she mentions it,
But it’s how she feels nonetheless.
Low-key and in the sphere of make-believe, she dreams
Of the never ending partnership between the two.
He fornicates and she takes her place,
Settling. Settling for what she feels she deserve.
Even though there are times when he comes around
and her face has had enough of smiling.
Surely there is an reason for her insides warming
and feeling like they’ve never felt before.
She’d love him forever,
Starting with fall.
If he’d promise with his all
He would catch her when she decided to fall
And lift her up when she couldn’t and
Not love her back for goodness sake.
Since goodbyes aren’t something she is good at
She likes to save the feelings and love shit for the sucker who can handle it.
He can’t so she moves on,
On a late summer August night in 2010.
Struggling with her emotions as she thinks if only.
If only I didn’t meet you this summer.
The wind is enough to make a blind man stand tall and not be frightened by the thunder.
Though she swore and he wouldn’t let her get away with suggesting there fling
Would make it past the summer breeze,
Her coyest behavior was enough to make her stay right here.
Waiting.
For him to stop speeding past her heart.
Waiting.
For him to stop settling for the battled nights of her not by his side.
She is waiting, no longer frustrated with where this may never go.
If another season awaits she welcomes but not another month of being
Friends with the lover who is so much more than a lover.
Hugging herself alone under her covers
Saying his name
Him feeding her soul. `
With his wants and her divine lack of time
Struggling with her words and longing for his lips
Eyes are closed and watered,
As she masks her tears
Listens to her need of his aroma but smokes
His scent into her lungs until she has enough of him
Then she spits him out.
Cries and wants him some more
Helplessly she can’t seem to figure herself out.
What she wants and why she puts up with his speedy visits
And the shallow I-don’t-see-you-for-weeks.
It just can’t be love, it can’t be lust
It is the lack of presence and so much trust that was made up but not love.
Love doesn’t exist, to her.
She thought that is what she was in once,
But then and even the time before that,
She was forcing emotions
Between herself and the other, his name irrelevant, like the summer to her.
Baffled by the triangular relationship she tiptoed into his realm of
Being a bachelor and the ideology of him wanting her.
She loves him enough. There isn’t an emphasis on the word or huge gallant smile
On her sculpted cherry red face when she mentions it,
But it’s how she feels nonetheless.
Low-key and in the sphere of make-believe, she dreams
Of the never ending partnership between the two.
He fornicates and she takes her place,
Settling. Settling for what she feels she deserve.
Even though there are times when he comes around
and her face has had enough of smiling.
Surely there is an reason for her insides warming
and feeling like they’ve never felt before.
She’d love him forever,
Starting with fall.
If he’d promise with his all
He would catch her when she decided to fall
And lift her up when she couldn’t and
Not love her back for goodness sake.
Since goodbyes aren’t something she is good at
She likes to save the feelings and love shit for the sucker who can handle it.
He can’t so she moves on,
On a late summer August night in 2010.
Struggling with her emotions as she thinks if only.
If only I didn’t meet you this summer.
The wind is enough to make a blind man stand tall and not be frightened by the thunder.
Though she swore and he wouldn’t let her get away with suggesting there fling
Would make it past the summer breeze,
Her coyest behavior was enough to make her stay right here.
Waiting.
For him to stop speeding past her heart.
Waiting.
For him to stop settling for the battled nights of her not by his side.
She is waiting, no longer frustrated with where this may never go.
If another season awaits she welcomes but not another month of being
Friends with the lover who is so much more than a lover.
Hugging herself alone under her covers
Saying his name
Him feeding her soul. `
Him
He’s too humble to know he is perfect.
He likes the wind but wishes it didn’t blow him away.
She burdens herself every time he commends her for being her.
She loathes the time apart and loves the distance.
There so alike, sweet as a secret they can’t let get out.
Her eyes wander and he takes a gander to figure out
Why she drifted off without him into this deadly night.
Lifting his sprits she kissing him gently,
Hiding her doubts with her wet moist.
She lets him in, because she swears he is worth it.
Mind made up even though, she doesn’t know why
She rushed she swears to the lords,
She should have had more time.
To quiver in his presence,
Kiss his ears and neck while he held her,
Picturing it would be pleasant.
Wired feeling, dies when he comes alive around.
Sparkled teeth and loving him makes her complete.
The idea of who he is and not what is enough to make her
Kiss him from his lips toward the top of his face.
Certain he wouldn’t have it any other way.
So she stays with Mr. Perfect, nonetheless she is his love(r).
He likes the wind but wishes it didn’t blow him away.
She burdens herself every time he commends her for being her.
She loathes the time apart and loves the distance.
There so alike, sweet as a secret they can’t let get out.
Her eyes wander and he takes a gander to figure out
Why she drifted off without him into this deadly night.
Lifting his sprits she kissing him gently,
Hiding her doubts with her wet moist.
She lets him in, because she swears he is worth it.
Mind made up even though, she doesn’t know why
She rushed she swears to the lords,
She should have had more time.
To quiver in his presence,
Kiss his ears and neck while he held her,
Picturing it would be pleasant.
Wired feeling, dies when he comes alive around.
Sparkled teeth and loving him makes her complete.
The idea of who he is and not what is enough to make her
Kiss him from his lips toward the top of his face.
Certain he wouldn’t have it any other way.
So she stays with Mr. Perfect, nonetheless she is his love(r).
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
He
The wind from his collar,
Smokes the lungs of the departed.
My ears fake a need
And my lips won’t form a smile.
Soon your warmth won’t be enough for me to stay around.
As of now, I am exhausted.
Running from my conscience
Breathing weakly and waiting to smile again.
Echoed whispered sympathy hasn’t telepathy reached him as of yet.
Smokes the lungs of the departed.
My ears fake a need
And my lips won’t form a smile.
Soon your warmth won’t be enough for me to stay around.
As of now, I am exhausted.
Running from my conscience
Breathing weakly and waiting to smile again.
Echoed whispered sympathy hasn’t telepathy reached him as of yet.
Heartbreaker
You intentionally hurt me,
This is why I can’t let you have my tears.
I feared this day would come.
You hurt me so bad,
I am frustrated with breathing.
I have had enough.
But as my heart turns to stone,
I see my woes.
The lighter burns the tip of my hand.
As I light the match,
On my memories that we created,
Once upon a time.
Working out your goals,
Even though it’s not what i accepted.
The result, no tears,
Just a lesson learned.
The lesson of heartbreakers and
Never giving up your heart,
Even if you think you are sure.
No amount of tears will be suffice,
So none will be seen, but the beauty of his lies.
Makes a proud soul smile.
This is why I can’t let you have my tears.
I feared this day would come.
You hurt me so bad,
I am frustrated with breathing.
I have had enough.
But as my heart turns to stone,
I see my woes.
The lighter burns the tip of my hand.
As I light the match,
On my memories that we created,
Once upon a time.
Working out your goals,
Even though it’s not what i accepted.
The result, no tears,
Just a lesson learned.
The lesson of heartbreakers and
Never giving up your heart,
Even if you think you are sure.
No amount of tears will be suffice,
So none will be seen, but the beauty of his lies.
Makes a proud soul smile.
Last First Kiss
Nothing is certain,
But our first kiss.
It was destined.
So sure.
I would give anything to share
It with you, again.
My right eye certain
That tomorrow it will end,
A goodbye is evident as his lack
Of keeping a promise.
But the last kiss,
Hasn’t happened.
When it does,
It is destined
Like our tomorrow.
But our first kiss.
It was destined.
So sure.
I would give anything to share
It with you, again.
My right eye certain
That tomorrow it will end,
A goodbye is evident as his lack
Of keeping a promise.
But the last kiss,
Hasn’t happened.
When it does,
It is destined
Like our tomorrow.
Her
Criminating taste,
Oh how I thirst for it.
The juice of her left lip,
mixed with the right one.
I shiver as I lick my lips and
am still able to taste her.
This happens to be the only
Thing I do more for me and
No one else.
I know she is pleased,
The wetness is enough for me.
To make me walk away
But not forget this moment,
Which lives in my memory.
Oh how I thirst for it.
The juice of her left lip,
mixed with the right one.
I shiver as I lick my lips and
am still able to taste her.
This happens to be the only
Thing I do more for me and
No one else.
I know she is pleased,
The wetness is enough for me.
To make me walk away
But not forget this moment,
Which lives in my memory.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
John Doe
He needs her to sing the blues,
Since he wants to prove she is his fool
She wants him to buy her that star
That shines right above her window and seems so close to Mars.
But her settling and his news,
That he is leaving her for his tunes.
Her tears are by far the joy to his eyes and his never ending compliance with now.
His temper, her love for him, is equal to the ending of the low life she met before him. Great.
Since he wants to prove she is his fool
She wants him to buy her that star
That shines right above her window and seems so close to Mars.
But her settling and his news,
That he is leaving her for his tunes.
Her tears are by far the joy to his eyes and his never ending compliance with now.
His temper, her love for him, is equal to the ending of the low life she met before him. Great.
Shade
He is the truth
This is a problem.
Flaws headed behind his light skin
Respect shown as if I am his next kin
Treats me better than a simple girlfriend
And then some,
He is my smile,
Searching for the reality of
Not understanding
The infamous of why he chooses me,
Here come the insecurities, the doubt,
The imbalanced emotion of who deserves what.
I am his shade.
Balanced by my desire for rain.
Surfaced through the sand storm that is his name.
I stay on my knees as they bleed,
He shows no remorse as he wraps up his night,
Failing to acknowledge my plight to be here.
This is a problem.
Flaws headed behind his light skin
Respect shown as if I am his next kin
Treats me better than a simple girlfriend
And then some,
He is my smile,
Searching for the reality of
Not understanding
The infamous of why he chooses me,
Here come the insecurities, the doubt,
The imbalanced emotion of who deserves what.
I am his shade.
Balanced by my desire for rain.
Surfaced through the sand storm that is his name.
I stay on my knees as they bleed,
He shows no remorse as he wraps up his night,
Failing to acknowledge my plight to be here.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Tattoo
That tattoo, this tattoo
That you drew into my skin,
Even then when it was no more than a scar
Blessed by you
Because we took it too far.
That tattoo, this tattoo
I wear on my right leg,
Right above my knee.
This tattoo, that tattoo,
Made me stop having affairs
With yours truly.
That you drew into my skin,
Even then when it was no more than a scar
Blessed by you
Because we took it too far.
That tattoo, this tattoo
I wear on my right leg,
Right above my knee.
This tattoo, that tattoo,
Made me stop having affairs
With yours truly.
Insertion
Insert your worse fear here.
Followed by the one you love.
Ending with something you can’t understand.
Insert the music his heart sings when your body is on top of his.
Followed by the soul you breathe when he enters you.
Ending with the ending you will surely be subjected too.
Insert his name after your first
Followed by the reality of a proposal
Ending with an invalidated ring on your ring finger.
Insert what you really feel
Followed by what doesn’t matter
Ending with the kiss you share at the altar.
Followed by the one you love.
Ending with something you can’t understand.
Insert the music his heart sings when your body is on top of his.
Followed by the soul you breathe when he enters you.
Ending with the ending you will surely be subjected too.
Insert his name after your first
Followed by the reality of a proposal
Ending with an invalidated ring on your ring finger.
Insert what you really feel
Followed by what doesn’t matter
Ending with the kiss you share at the altar.
Settled
Settling requires a little forgetting.
Forgetting everything you believe in.
And falling hard for a boy who doesn’t
Give a damn, if you’re breathing.
Oh, I am so deep in love.
I believe it.
Stay around, fucking myself,
Until he wants me.
I get it hot and good
It’s warm and shit
When he comes around.
Nevertheless, I am dying inside.
Each day I stay.
I bleed tears and cringe for oxygen.
Validating my worries with his excuses,
It’s potent I’m around because I was high off him
And so willing to wither at my knees for a per boy
Who means everything to me.
But grasp what I mean to him.
Forgetting everything you believe in.
And falling hard for a boy who doesn’t
Give a damn, if you’re breathing.
Oh, I am so deep in love.
I believe it.
Stay around, fucking myself,
Until he wants me.
I get it hot and good
It’s warm and shit
When he comes around.
Nevertheless, I am dying inside.
Each day I stay.
I bleed tears and cringe for oxygen.
Validating my worries with his excuses,
It’s potent I’m around because I was high off him
And so willing to wither at my knees for a per boy
Who means everything to me.
But grasp what I mean to him.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Haunted
I still hear you inside of me.
Such pleasure and spunk and damn, your unique.
But your soul,
Must leave,
I need to be complete again.
You made me so weak,
I urge you to breathe me out.
I need to move on,
Your simply a ghost, and a ghost
You are, does nothing but haunt
My soul.
Such pleasure and spunk and damn, your unique.
But your soul,
Must leave,
I need to be complete again.
You made me so weak,
I urge you to breathe me out.
I need to move on,
Your simply a ghost, and a ghost
You are, does nothing but haunt
My soul.
Sex with You
Make love to me,
I’m sure I am ready.
This wasn’t about time,
You know our wait.
It was just the meaning,
I wanted it to have.
Plus, I had to figure out
Exactly it is you mean to me.
And therefore I figured out this:
This is a onetime event,
Even though you’re everything to me.
I’m going to do my best to leave the imprint of
My clitoris on your stache
And my sweet juices on the rim of your nose.
Soon after, hold me close,
And for this moment and only this moment.
I’ll mean everything too you to.
I’ll kiss you passionately, while our hands are exploring
our bodies.
My back is arched forward, just enough to allow your
Soul to meet with mine.
I cry out,
Because it hurts and feels good.
Love, it’s been a while.
I grip my fingers onto your back,
Your neck tastes like candy,
Especially when we’re one.
I utter your breath, and then I come once.
The pleasure that continues will never be enough.
You whisper sweet some things in my earlobes.
I push you off, accepting it’s your turn and I enjoy
This part, it’s extremely fun.
I slide your finger into my wetness, twice.
I climb on top of you and ride the pleasure,
you once was able to taste.
You come and then I’m gone.
Ghost like, what a shame.
I let you have me though.
I allowed you to explore the beauty
Of exactly what it is I am.
The sex was amazing,
I still can’t breathe.
I’m sure I am ready.
This wasn’t about time,
You know our wait.
It was just the meaning,
I wanted it to have.
Plus, I had to figure out
Exactly it is you mean to me.
And therefore I figured out this:
This is a onetime event,
Even though you’re everything to me.
I’m going to do my best to leave the imprint of
My clitoris on your stache
And my sweet juices on the rim of your nose.
Soon after, hold me close,
And for this moment and only this moment.
I’ll mean everything too you to.
I’ll kiss you passionately, while our hands are exploring
our bodies.
My back is arched forward, just enough to allow your
Soul to meet with mine.
I cry out,
Because it hurts and feels good.
Love, it’s been a while.
I grip my fingers onto your back,
Your neck tastes like candy,
Especially when we’re one.
I utter your breath, and then I come once.
The pleasure that continues will never be enough.
You whisper sweet some things in my earlobes.
I push you off, accepting it’s your turn and I enjoy
This part, it’s extremely fun.
I slide your finger into my wetness, twice.
I climb on top of you and ride the pleasure,
you once was able to taste.
You come and then I’m gone.
Ghost like, what a shame.
I let you have me though.
I allowed you to explore the beauty
Of exactly what it is I am.
The sex was amazing,
I still can’t breathe.
Settle
I sold my soul.
I sink deeper.
No longer falling for him,
But giving up on what we will never become.
I don’t know what I want,
But I am sure I know
What I can’t settle for.
Can’t settle for
This square cake,
When he promised he would
cherish my request for a round one.
Can’t settle for
A ghost when he was once a person.
Can’t settle for silver,
when I was once wearing gold.
I sink deeper.
No longer falling for him,
But giving up on what we will never become.
I don’t know what I want,
But I am sure I know
What I can’t settle for.
Can’t settle for
This square cake,
When he promised he would
cherish my request for a round one.
Can’t settle for
A ghost when he was once a person.
Can’t settle for silver,
when I was once wearing gold.
Fly Away
Let’s familiarize ourselves with the specimen,
Dying in thy hands.
One of my tear drops moves it,
It hears the splash and is tip toeing onto
His wings, flirting with me.
The color of his skin,
Beautiful, I’ve never seen it before.
I watch as the guy,
I conditionally love,
Looks my way,
Watching me, spit up his lie.
This is what I feel in love with.
Butterfly, Oh sweet,
Colorful, butterfly,
Fly away.
The feelings are gone.
Dying in thy hands.
One of my tear drops moves it,
It hears the splash and is tip toeing onto
His wings, flirting with me.
The color of his skin,
Beautiful, I’ve never seen it before.
I watch as the guy,
I conditionally love,
Looks my way,
Watching me, spit up his lie.
This is what I feel in love with.
Butterfly, Oh sweet,
Colorful, butterfly,
Fly away.
The feelings are gone.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Beautiful
Your ugly eyes,
Such ugly eyes.
I’ve never even noticed them.
Even as there laughing,
I see how ugly they are.
But you, you’re beautiful.
I’d kiss those precious eyes
Until I believe there weren’t
What they appear to be.
I’d love you regardless of these eyes
The reflection when you look into mine,
We’re complete. Can’t you see.
I don’t care what your outer self
portrays you to be.
Such ugly eyes.
I’ve never even noticed them.
Even as there laughing,
I see how ugly they are.
But you, you’re beautiful.
I’d kiss those precious eyes
Until I believe there weren’t
What they appear to be.
I’d love you regardless of these eyes
The reflection when you look into mine,
We’re complete. Can’t you see.
I don’t care what your outer self
portrays you to be.
Dear Half of my Heart
If I said I wasn’t in love with you, it’d be another lie I whispered into your ear. I can admit I have simply fallen, day one. Stupidly, I put my guard down to quick.
I can’t deny the huge wall I previously built up. It comes off as me being shy. I know you think I am shy but in all reality, I could shit my pants at the thought of all of this.
The ‘this’ you ask is the thought of being hurt when you feel like it. You’re the type of guy worried about hurting MY feelings and ruining it for the next. And you shall, I am sick of giving the male role chance after chance only to let me down. After this “shit” surpasses us, I am going to cry. Surely I will I am crying now. But it’s going to be once more. Because I foolishly allowed you to get too close.
Clearly you know this isn’t going to last. Outing our current status, I wish I had the energy or will to object. The tear falling down your lips, lucky you it is mine.
Can we mutually get this over with, I am in need of so much more.
I can’t deny the huge wall I previously built up. It comes off as me being shy. I know you think I am shy but in all reality, I could shit my pants at the thought of all of this.
The ‘this’ you ask is the thought of being hurt when you feel like it. You’re the type of guy worried about hurting MY feelings and ruining it for the next. And you shall, I am sick of giving the male role chance after chance only to let me down. After this “shit” surpasses us, I am going to cry. Surely I will I am crying now. But it’s going to be once more. Because I foolishly allowed you to get too close.
Clearly you know this isn’t going to last. Outing our current status, I wish I had the energy or will to object. The tear falling down your lips, lucky you it is mine.
Can we mutually get this over with, I am in need of so much more.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
In and then Out
The tip of the pen
reminds me of your
fatal exit.
Justified good-bye
needed only because
I asked for it.
I can't deny the
potent tears escaping my eyes
These miserable tears,
were slow,
then diving
down my cheek bones.
I'm hurting
like never before
wishing for
answers to justify all of this,
falling in and
out of love shit.
reminds me of your
fatal exit.
Justified good-bye
needed only because
I asked for it.
I can't deny the
potent tears escaping my eyes
These miserable tears,
were slow,
then diving
down my cheek bones.
I'm hurting
like never before
wishing for
answers to justify all of this,
falling in and
out of love shit.
Dead Butterfly
You told me not to miss you,
So I tried it your way.
And I must say,
For your sake,
Don’t ever tell ME what I should feel.
I’d envy you,
Seek vengeance on my weak heart.
Honey,
I miss you. I miss you.
There, I said it. I even caught the butterflies
That died and swallowed them.
I’m happy now.
So I tried it your way.
And I must say,
For your sake,
Don’t ever tell ME what I should feel.
I’d envy you,
Seek vengeance on my weak heart.
Honey,
I miss you. I miss you.
There, I said it. I even caught the butterflies
That died and swallowed them.
I’m happy now.
Butterflies Part 2
I opened my mouth,
only to find the butterflies that stuck inside, escape.
I watched them, beautifully die.
This is how life happens, he mumbles a wow.
I cry out, I am finally able to breathe.
The warm sure feelings died as well.
The blood that flows from eyes,
Freaks him out.
He hasn’t ran, yet.
But, he understands what happens know,
Once the butterflies leave.
So does he,
The feelings aren’t there anymore.
only to find the butterflies that stuck inside, escape.
I watched them, beautifully die.
This is how life happens, he mumbles a wow.
I cry out, I am finally able to breathe.
The warm sure feelings died as well.
The blood that flows from eyes,
Freaks him out.
He hasn’t ran, yet.
But, he understands what happens know,
Once the butterflies leave.
So does he,
The feelings aren’t there anymore.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Song of the Week --- Time
How come you don't make time for me anymore ?
I've asked this question a few times. Power jogged all the reasonable answers but considered his. With school starting soon, work and an internship there is no Nazma time.
So this Ne-Yo joint is getting played. I love this song and am considering moving on to someone who takes the time.
I gave in, little does he know. Know more me reaching out.
I've asked this question a few times. Power jogged all the reasonable answers but considered his. With school starting soon, work and an internship there is no Nazma time.
So this Ne-Yo joint is getting played. I love this song and am considering moving on to someone who takes the time.
I gave in, little does he know. Know more me reaching out.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Oh
Oh how I missed that smile,
With your amazing
Delicious lips.
I can’t say quickly enough,
How much I miss kissing you.
I can’t handle your love,
But I want more.
Oh how I missed your embrace,
With your huge heart,
Hearing mine.
I can’t say quickly enough,
How I needed this.
I can’t handle your love,
But I need more.
Ohh how I missed you.
With your amazing
Delicious lips.
I can’t say quickly enough,
How much I miss kissing you.
I can’t handle your love,
But I want more.
Oh how I missed your embrace,
With your huge heart,
Hearing mine.
I can’t say quickly enough,
How I needed this.
I can’t handle your love,
But I need more.
Ohh how I missed you.
Song of the Week --- Can't be Friends
I have decided to frequently put a song on here, preferably a love song that I think you guys should check out.
Today’s song without a doubt is Trey Songz, Can’t be Friends.
I only downloaded this song 4 days ago and have already played it 33+ times. I love the words of the song. Though I am not going through what Trey Songz is singing about. Both the chorus and hook, I clearly relate to.
My favorite lines are:
- She told me bad news days are gone.
- It ain’t no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you.
- I wish I never feel so deep in love with you there ain’t no way we can be friends.
- Maybe we were moving just a little too fast.
- I wish we never loved.
I guess things that he just happens to be saying. I actually am going through. But what the heck.
I am human.
Today’s song without a doubt is Trey Songz, Can’t be Friends.
I only downloaded this song 4 days ago and have already played it 33+ times. I love the words of the song. Though I am not going through what Trey Songz is singing about. Both the chorus and hook, I clearly relate to.
My favorite lines are:
- She told me bad news days are gone.
- It ain’t no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you.
- I wish I never feel so deep in love with you there ain’t no way we can be friends.
- Maybe we were moving just a little too fast.
- I wish we never loved.
I guess things that he just happens to be saying. I actually am going through. But what the heck.
I am human.
Shadow
Creeping until my circumstance is fulfilled.
I think if I am ask him to explain where I failed,
I’d have better luck asking him to eat me while I’m pure.
Our goodbye makes no sense.
But neither does the way we met.
I’d have a better try, growing balls and holding them.
I think if I am ask him to explain where I failed,
I’d have better luck asking him to eat me while I’m pure.
Our goodbye makes no sense.
But neither does the way we met.
I’d have a better try, growing balls and holding them.
Relationships
When it comes to relationships, situations involving love I have learned that I can’t settle. I sort of came to this conclusion when I realized that I am settling for other things in my life. I have settled in the past, settled in love. When I want something and even in when I didn’t. I have since stopped settling. I know understand that in order to complete myself, I need to accept my worth. The acceptance of your worth begins when you accept you have one.
I just happen to be happy, despite the miscalculations of where I saw myself years ago. But I have come quite far, none the less. Being the person that I am today, I don’t like who I was years ago. Well in relationships anyway. I was always setting.
There was Tyshawn, such a mistake. A mistake I regret, not only did he have a baby on me and cheat on me. He lied to me. Everything I asked him not to do, he did.
I moved on with Perry, a no better ass, who didn’t ever mention he had two kids and that he was still with his children’s mother and had a next girlfriend. I don’t myself I suck at choosing.
When those relationships failed, I saw myself unsettled and didn’t think I would get into another relationship because I didn’t trust. But I did. I got into two relationships that changed both my life and my way of thinking. Each person changed my look on relationships and decisions I choose to make.
Though I was suppressed from not understanding I didn’t think I had anything to learn. Or understand but a good friend, Aryanna, said that everyone enters and leaves your life they all serve a purpose. I never second thought it, I believed it.
I quickly, figured out Brandon purpose. Everything he did was just so clear to me. Everything that mattered was so irrelevant when it came to anything but sex with the two of us. We were both good at it. We called each other and tried our best to please each other. We threw time at each other, rarely. I accepted it. I was satisfied with the memory of the last time. It kept me interested. It kept us vital.
The beginning of us was simple. We were friends. No strings attached. We ended having some of the best sex. My decision to have sex was granted because I truly liked him and cared for him. A small part of me, figured it would make us exclusive. I can admit it brought us closer. But that was until he found something new on my campus. Our “relationship” struggled and then ended. I think I summed it well.
From this experience, I learned sex does not make someone stay. Never depend on someone to satisfy your needs. You should first depend on yourself. At first, I felt used. But I got everything I put in. Didn’t expect that sudden ending. My favorite lessons are the following :
a. You are worth something.
b. Settling for less than you think you deserve is the ultimate sin.
c. Don’t be afraid of a promising good-bye.
I should have talked about Angel at first, but I just gained access to restricted information needed to let him go. I began dating Angel in September of 2007. We were epic, so deep in “love” and no one could stop us but us. My tears got too much for us when I accepted his departure in the military. Our relationship was inconsistent between December of 2008 and October of 2009. We argued about the distance but I always stayed because I knew he was who I wanted. It just seemed right.
But now I know.
d. You don’t stay when problems don’t change.
Another problem that was the barrier of bad news was the heartfelt misery of not having him there when I needed him. Or the aftermath me cheating on him with a previous ex, Perry. The pain of breaking up twice and then getting back together. Only to break up with me when a former crush comes along. We had a short meaningful affair while he dated her and hid me on the top shelf.
It stopped when he told me he married her. From this I know.
e. You move on, on your own terms.
f. You can force yourself to endure pain, only because you figure you deserve it.
g. You never see you’re settling, until you notice what you have ended up doing.
h. Tomorrow is a brighter day.
Now I have sensed move on. No sensible, relevant feelings for neither.
Currently I am in a involved with a great boy, who let’s just say. I am taking my time with and he does the same for me. it is great because he has me talking. Most know I rather text, write a poem or letter. So this is great. I am happy .Don’t feel like I am settling. Just haven’t felt like writing out my feelings. Though most poems are about him.
I just happen to be happy, despite the miscalculations of where I saw myself years ago. But I have come quite far, none the less. Being the person that I am today, I don’t like who I was years ago. Well in relationships anyway. I was always setting.
There was Tyshawn, such a mistake. A mistake I regret, not only did he have a baby on me and cheat on me. He lied to me. Everything I asked him not to do, he did.
I moved on with Perry, a no better ass, who didn’t ever mention he had two kids and that he was still with his children’s mother and had a next girlfriend. I don’t myself I suck at choosing.
When those relationships failed, I saw myself unsettled and didn’t think I would get into another relationship because I didn’t trust. But I did. I got into two relationships that changed both my life and my way of thinking. Each person changed my look on relationships and decisions I choose to make.
Though I was suppressed from not understanding I didn’t think I had anything to learn. Or understand but a good friend, Aryanna, said that everyone enters and leaves your life they all serve a purpose. I never second thought it, I believed it.
I quickly, figured out Brandon purpose. Everything he did was just so clear to me. Everything that mattered was so irrelevant when it came to anything but sex with the two of us. We were both good at it. We called each other and tried our best to please each other. We threw time at each other, rarely. I accepted it. I was satisfied with the memory of the last time. It kept me interested. It kept us vital.
The beginning of us was simple. We were friends. No strings attached. We ended having some of the best sex. My decision to have sex was granted because I truly liked him and cared for him. A small part of me, figured it would make us exclusive. I can admit it brought us closer. But that was until he found something new on my campus. Our “relationship” struggled and then ended. I think I summed it well.
From this experience, I learned sex does not make someone stay. Never depend on someone to satisfy your needs. You should first depend on yourself. At first, I felt used. But I got everything I put in. Didn’t expect that sudden ending. My favorite lessons are the following :
a. You are worth something.
b. Settling for less than you think you deserve is the ultimate sin.
c. Don’t be afraid of a promising good-bye.
I should have talked about Angel at first, but I just gained access to restricted information needed to let him go. I began dating Angel in September of 2007. We were epic, so deep in “love” and no one could stop us but us. My tears got too much for us when I accepted his departure in the military. Our relationship was inconsistent between December of 2008 and October of 2009. We argued about the distance but I always stayed because I knew he was who I wanted. It just seemed right.
But now I know.
d. You don’t stay when problems don’t change.
Another problem that was the barrier of bad news was the heartfelt misery of not having him there when I needed him. Or the aftermath me cheating on him with a previous ex, Perry. The pain of breaking up twice and then getting back together. Only to break up with me when a former crush comes along. We had a short meaningful affair while he dated her and hid me on the top shelf.
It stopped when he told me he married her. From this I know.
e. You move on, on your own terms.
f. You can force yourself to endure pain, only because you figure you deserve it.
g. You never see you’re settling, until you notice what you have ended up doing.
h. Tomorrow is a brighter day.
Now I have sensed move on. No sensible, relevant feelings for neither.
Currently I am in a involved with a great boy, who let’s just say. I am taking my time with and he does the same for me. it is great because he has me talking. Most know I rather text, write a poem or letter. So this is great. I am happy .Don’t feel like I am settling. Just haven’t felt like writing out my feelings. Though most poems are about him.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
I watch him run from it all,
I want to run after him.
But I did that once,
This time isn’t like the last.
He is looking back.
He shouts no more than
Wait right there.
Wait right there for me.
I want to run after him.
But I did that once,
This time isn’t like the last.
He is looking back.
He shouts no more than
Wait right there.
Wait right there for me.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Choice
I picked you that’s what gets on all these jawns nerves.
Never mind how much thought I put into my decision to let
The guard I have so high, down.
I get clumsy at the thought of me being blinded.
The body your soul lives in is the body your soul live in.
I don’t care about your hazel eyes and sweeten lips.
Your height, means just as mine, fluorescent.
You hate when I wear sneakers,
I would take them off and more for you.
I picked you that’s what everyone is so worried about.
They want me to review my choice.
The majority of the people that matter to me say
I may have made a mistake.
The only mistake, I made so far.
Was worrying. Worrying about my choice to trust to love.
To care for someone just as much as they did for me.
Never mind how much thought I put into my decision to let
The guard I have so high, down.
I get clumsy at the thought of me being blinded.
The body your soul lives in is the body your soul live in.
I don’t care about your hazel eyes and sweeten lips.
Your height, means just as mine, fluorescent.
You hate when I wear sneakers,
I would take them off and more for you.
I picked you that’s what everyone is so worried about.
They want me to review my choice.
The majority of the people that matter to me say
I may have made a mistake.
The only mistake, I made so far.
Was worrying. Worrying about my choice to trust to love.
To care for someone just as much as they did for me.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Done
Carrier of bad news.
Frail and unseen feelings,
that are felt.
I wish I didn't feel this
and I knew what was going on.
He has time for everyone but me,
was i just a beautiful smile.
hidden behind the personality i wear
and the kisses i sweetly lay on your lips.
echoes of the never before seen demons
circling my head,
appaulding themselves for ruining my
short amount of happiness.
At least they said I deserved it.
Forgotten like last summers hit song,
yet remembered as soon as it is heard.
The next time you see me,
your going to see me.
Never mind, never touch me again.
I'm so focused on missing you,
i stopped concluding why we don't speak any longer.
Frail and unseen feelings,
that are felt.
I wish I didn't feel this
and I knew what was going on.
He has time for everyone but me,
was i just a beautiful smile.
hidden behind the personality i wear
and the kisses i sweetly lay on your lips.
echoes of the never before seen demons
circling my head,
appaulding themselves for ruining my
short amount of happiness.
At least they said I deserved it.
Forgotten like last summers hit song,
yet remembered as soon as it is heard.
The next time you see me,
your going to see me.
Never mind, never touch me again.
I'm so focused on missing you,
i stopped concluding why we don't speak any longer.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Stupid in Love
His time is like the battery
on your cheap ass phone.
The love he is supposed to feel
is the upgrade you will never acquire.
You stay around only because
when he is around the smile he forwards to you is exquisite.
Every time you tell yourself to give him another try.
But the tears that come back
once his old ways come back into the picture
are enough to make me whelp out in pain.
I said goodbye to him once.
So uncertain with my blinded eye.
on your cheap ass phone.
The love he is supposed to feel
is the upgrade you will never acquire.
You stay around only because
when he is around the smile he forwards to you is exquisite.
Every time you tell yourself to give him another try.
But the tears that come back
once his old ways come back into the picture
are enough to make me whelp out in pain.
I said goodbye to him once.
So uncertain with my blinded eye.
Single
Laughter rotates the room,
This isn’t what bothers me though.
It is the distant, “I told you so”.
I hear it at least thrice.
So many eyes are on mine.
This is the celebration
I receive, when someone who means
The world to me walks out of my life.
Perplexed emotions will surface,
And then collide with my conscience.
Adjacent jargons. Nothing leaves my mouth.
Time of the essence, I am no fool.
But I am hurting, silently.
Damp eyes, which are tired of thinking.
Low moans and a high pitch sigh of
I can not sit here and pout because
he gave me a ring and then took it back.
The ring that tanned my ring finger,
Is off.
This isn’t what bothers me though.
It is the distant, “I told you so”.
I hear it at least thrice.
So many eyes are on mine.
This is the celebration
I receive, when someone who means
The world to me walks out of my life.
Perplexed emotions will surface,
And then collide with my conscience.
Adjacent jargons. Nothing leaves my mouth.
Time of the essence, I am no fool.
But I am hurting, silently.
Damp eyes, which are tired of thinking.
Low moans and a high pitch sigh of
I can not sit here and pout because
he gave me a ring and then took it back.
The ring that tanned my ring finger,
Is off.
Involuntary manslaughter
The death of the vitamin
he inculpated into her lungs
and the distance is a paradox
to her delicious smile
and the love he doesn’t feel
is the sin she hasn’t come to understand.
She is lost,
Searching for what will never make sense.
Oblivious to the love he runs from.
She decides to play tag,
watching,
breathing in some heavy populated air.
She has her first and last heart attack
and her subconscious only wants him to come to her rescue.
I witnessed the man she waited for, he made her seem dumb.
I say she caused it on herself. Her problem was settling for scum.
He watched her die and the culprit so heartless did nothing but run.
Her skin was left cold, and her eyes left opened.
Shutting them was a task, he didn’t risk fulfilling.
But he watched as I her subconscious, was speechless.
Now lifeless, I knew he didn’t plan on rescuing us.
he inculpated into her lungs
and the distance is a paradox
to her delicious smile
and the love he doesn’t feel
is the sin she hasn’t come to understand.
She is lost,
Searching for what will never make sense.
Oblivious to the love he runs from.
She decides to play tag,
watching,
breathing in some heavy populated air.
She has her first and last heart attack
and her subconscious only wants him to come to her rescue.
I witnessed the man she waited for, he made her seem dumb.
I say she caused it on herself. Her problem was settling for scum.
He watched her die and the culprit so heartless did nothing but run.
Her skin was left cold, and her eyes left opened.
Shutting them was a task, he didn’t risk fulfilling.
But he watched as I her subconscious, was speechless.
Now lifeless, I knew he didn’t plan on rescuing us.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Distance
Distance makes pleasure unique
What makes me weak
Is the feeling of being
Incomplete
Like for this whole time
I have been wasting time
Going back and forth
Telling my heart lies
Having to figure out
What I am doing
Arguing with myself
Nazma, please possess
Some other emotion besides confusion.
Ending something
That was suppose
To last a little younger
Just made me
Establish
One thing
The end of us
I’ve learned to accept shit,
For whatever
It may or may not be
I do not do regretting.
I can’t even allow myself
To resent
I do tend to try so hard
So very hard to forget.
What makes me weak
Is the feeling of being
Incomplete
Like for this whole time
I have been wasting time
Going back and forth
Telling my heart lies
Having to figure out
What I am doing
Arguing with myself
Nazma, please possess
Some other emotion besides confusion.
Ending something
That was suppose
To last a little younger
Just made me
Establish
One thing
The end of us
I’ve learned to accept shit,
For whatever
It may or may not be
I do not do regretting.
I can’t even allow myself
To resent
I do tend to try so hard
So very hard to forget.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Naked with a Kiss
Fully clothed even though it is
Summer.
She is sweating, and drenched d’evil
You’re in each other’s company.
Yearning, for her intellect,
Only for a second she slips and lets you in.
I breathe heavily to the pace of his heart.
I hear it when he leans down on me.
The beat of my heart is irregular,
I am thrown from his balcony.
By some stranger I have never seen.
I cling onto the bars, my black high boots.
Hold me up.
The person I am settling for, seems as if he
Is deciding whom he wants to save.
The relationship or me.
I plunge to the floor, which purposely isn’t even a fall.
The pants I struggled to put on have a hole down my back.
I arched the smallness in my lower back ,
Attempting to hide the skin, that is visible.
I have yet to feel the taste of his pink lips,
I imagine the tickle my heart feels when it happens.
He lifts me up my eyes are closed,
His big hands hold my face.
I’m in a world I have never been.
His tears allow my eyes to open,
His lips allow me to trust him.
My skin is more visible since I lack
Any doubts; about trusting him
And destined love.
I’m naked though he won’t have me,
I’m beginning the step of showing him,
I am me.
Summer.
She is sweating, and drenched d’evil
You’re in each other’s company.
Yearning, for her intellect,
Only for a second she slips and lets you in.
I breathe heavily to the pace of his heart.
I hear it when he leans down on me.
The beat of my heart is irregular,
I am thrown from his balcony.
By some stranger I have never seen.
I cling onto the bars, my black high boots.
Hold me up.
The person I am settling for, seems as if he
Is deciding whom he wants to save.
The relationship or me.
I plunge to the floor, which purposely isn’t even a fall.
The pants I struggled to put on have a hole down my back.
I arched the smallness in my lower back ,
Attempting to hide the skin, that is visible.
I have yet to feel the taste of his pink lips,
I imagine the tickle my heart feels when it happens.
He lifts me up my eyes are closed,
His big hands hold my face.
I’m in a world I have never been.
His tears allow my eyes to open,
His lips allow me to trust him.
My skin is more visible since I lack
Any doubts; about trusting him
And destined love.
I’m naked though he won’t have me,
I’m beginning the step of showing him,
I am me.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Daydreaming
It’s the high I get when I see you,
Can’t see myself with you,
Though, I need too.
It’s the light that glows
When you come through,
After sex glow, minus the sex,
Hug me low and long,
I only wonder what is next.
It’s irrelevant, the time we
Waste apart.
When you love me,
And your gone.
It’s a love I can’t forget.
Can’t see myself with you,
Though, I need too.
It’s the light that glows
When you come through,
After sex glow, minus the sex,
Hug me low and long,
I only wonder what is next.
It’s irrelevant, the time we
Waste apart.
When you love me,
And your gone.
It’s a love I can’t forget.
Butterflies Part 2
I opened my mouth,
only to find the butterflies that stuck inside, escape.
I watched them, beautifully die.
This is how life happens, he mumbles a wow.
I cry out, I am finally able to breathe.
The warm sure feelings died as well.
The blood that flows from eyes,
Freaks him out.
He hasn’t ran, yet.
But, he understands what happens know,
Once the butterflies leave.
So does he,
The feelings aren’t there anymore.
only to find the butterflies that stuck inside, escape.
I watched them, beautifully die.
This is how life happens, he mumbles a wow.
I cry out, I am finally able to breathe.
The warm sure feelings died as well.
The blood that flows from eyes,
Freaks him out.
He hasn’t ran, yet.
But, he understands what happens know,
Once the butterflies leave.
So does he,
The feelings aren’t there anymore.
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