Dear Child

The cocaine that use to struggle through
Your tiny premature veins,
Is your excuse for the tirades you start
And haven’t learned to end.

I too was once a child,
With a parent with no sure direction.
One doing her.
Your as safe as you deserve to be now.

No more heart can reach you,
Only certain, sure love.

Mr. Popular Demand

From a far you do more than ice grill
A hot chick, hood average chick.
The navel to her thighs you imagine,
What she feels like.

She gets close and you are checking out
Only enough for her not to see.
Temptation, the songs you sing
About beating it from the back.
She does no more but imagine that.

No more but a picture is obtained but you
Will never forget her grace.
You defiantly checked her out
When she walked away.

Branded

I write on my skin
And I succeed in
the pain I have caused
to myself.
I use my wrists to
Make what I feel permanent.

Stretch out the irregularly
with locking my door
as the tasks unfolds.

This lit cigarette,
I found it in the ashtray,
and the unjust rhythm I’ m moving in
I heard it on the radio.
Of the car I saw you passing by with some girl,
I have never heard of.

Guides me to the branding I must create
Of what matters
What will and what just won’t.

The sweat swims from my cheeks
To my arm which is straining with the pain
That yelps from my closed lips.
The “I” is done, I drink a sip of tonic finally
I have opened my mouth,
A small moan is released.

I look at the sweaty cigarette,
Relight it and continue with the assignment,
I have created for myself.
“Love” comes next,
Even though it is such a strain.

My conscious is telling me once this is over,
It will be beautiful.
I light the cigarette, pretend not to hear the pounding
On my door.
The M I burn my skin deep.
So deep, I lose my balance.

My wrist looks like I am going to regret this,
But again I know I am one letter away.
I struggle with my E,
I have it looking like a 3.

Past Tense "Love"

I’ve been in love,
So deep in love
Where I felt like I would die if he does.

I’ve been in love,
So deep in love,
Where I thought he was the one.

I’ve been in love
So deep in love
Where I found myself blinded.

But it’s never been anything fully implanted as committed love.
Anything where I felt it was true.
It felt sure, sure as the first kiss and defiant as the last one.

But it’s never been anything more than some
Distinct poem written and shared on the world wide web
for all who cared to read.

But it’s never enough, to say love.
It’s a thought.
Tell yourself anything and you are bound to believe it.

So I believed I’d been in love.
When in fact I was trapped in
A crazy unseen world everyone forced
Themselves to visit.

Now I know I haven’t been in love,
I have just devoted my all into
Someone who I needed when I needed them.

Reality of Others

You’re known for the observations you make,
And the verbal outtake you take on a sad, situation.
Someone can ruin your pre-love,
before it blossoms.
They choose to ruin your happiness because they are
incomplete in their own.

I take a few steps back,
Smile at what I am dealing with.
You’ll never experience love like mine,
So your jealous raid forces you to attempt
To ruin it.

Miss You

Struggled whisper,
I am only able
To mouth about how
My feelings are absurd.
It is meant to be an even toned
Juicy full of irony.

But my lips are dry,
Without you in my reach.
I miss your juicy haunted lips.
Those trembling lips,
Gorgeous lips on mine.
I miss your smile,
Especially when it was beneath mine.

Irregular apologies,
Blessed with a needle and desire
To fix all that you have decided too
you screw up when attempting to do.
I let you in because I need you way more than
You need me.

No Air

This outing is intense.
I learned the reality of love.
It may not always feel right,
But it certainly is real.

It is really happening
Know more then she needs it too:

She stands above him, on her knees.
Stuttering with her warm heart.
She is waiting for you to hold her below
Her pelvis like you usually do.

But you have gone, away from the
World you created.
I can’t help you because I can’t get out.
I never asked because I wasn’t aware
We would eventually come to this.

I focus on his breathe in my mouth,
We ran out of air.
I was dreaming before,
When he left our bubble.

Nervous, for the next dream
When I’m truly myself; weak.

Games I Play

If I could handle the this temperature,
I would be outside enjoying it.
Not sheltered, hiding behind the beauty of
What we can grow to be.

But I am afraid,
Assuming my past will come
Back to haunt me, instead of taking a chance.
I’m acting like I never met you,
Pretending the dust I blew your way wasn’t
So hard for me to do.

Even know as I’m trembling,
Wiping away my own tears; missing you.
I can’t forget you, I still smell you.
It’s a strange eclipse I’m witnessing.

Calling on YOU

I might call you,
can you squeeze into my life.
Dear, how I miss you.
This time I vow to cherish you.
Complelty, call you up far more often
Then you need me.

I would splurge on the things we needed,
To indulge in each other.
We deserve the best, when we are together.

But I have doubts if you are exactly what I need,
The smile you throw at me dies as soon as I stand up
And realize I just devoured you.

I can’t call you, because then you would be above me,
Like you want to, not beneath me. Like I need you.
So I let go of the thought of us as one again,
It would hurt too much knowing I am sneaking away from reality.

Falling

Had to let him go,
he was attempting to break my heart slow.
Should have distanced myself before I slipped
in this shallow water, and it sucks for me.

I can't swim, but I won't drown so I hold onto you.
Lavish you with DEEP and sweet kisses.
Fathom by all times you let me go.
I would wag my hand, and I allowed you.
Instead of drowning, I acted like you never left.

Your amazing, yet inadequate for assuming the water on my
puzzled, yet beautiful face is from this water and not my tears.
Your so exotic, for thinking this is a ocean and not my tears.
You swim so far away from me and then catch me before I drown.
Let you tell the world or even my ear, " We are prefect."

Yet, I am falling.
You have been gone so long.
I am clinging onto this log, waiting.
For me to hit reality, and climb out
forget that I am naked and waiting for your sympathy.
I have been feeding off of it for too long.

One Pass a Million

When we use to kiss,
I was so engrossed with counting every last one.
You and I made it one pass a million,
I remember the passion and how intense I felt.
Praying you where the one,
my heart use to burn and my insides use to feel warm.

It hurts more than you can imagine,
Pretending we never happened.
Acting as though my jaw didn’t hurt so much,
from smiling.
But it is better to play pretend then tell myself,
you where my one more than a million.

Let’s face it, we where a mistake.
An instant misconception,
We rushed and we were so intense when we fucked UP
Everything but each other.
It never got that far,
Still I told myself you where my one pass a million.

As I play the game of Ghost, I miss you.
I choke.
I throw up our last kiss
And play pretend.
I dreamed you and then you disappeared only to reappear
Having me questioning your intentions and do you act like you care.

I cherished you and us I swear.
Told myself that the time spent was all I needed.
I wanted more though; the thought of us caressed snuggled at night.
But you needed something else to survive.
Basically telling me,
You are my one past a million, just not ready for it.

Gift from Rain

Take a few seconds to sit in the rain;
With the first sprinkle of rain
Erases every mistake and
Irregular moment which may have resulted in regret

The rain is now pouring,
You are looking at it,
Your subconscious tells you to dive in.
Head first, fuck the hair you care and flaunt around.

The power of the rain on the night you came to the conclusion
You are nothing but his memory,
He sometimes needs to form an indulgence in.
You allow it, you too are weak and still in love with him.

You can notice no more than the struggle of the love, you
Must let go, for the sanity of what has to be.
This is a fellowship, forget that nothing in life is free.
There is a price you pay, so you can soak in the thrill of moving on.

Feel the rain, taking it all in, have the courage to breathe.
That first drop hits you like lightening, you remember your first kiss.
It was so sweaty, and moist and boogery and but still amazing.
You smell the rain and you allow your body to pulsate in.

Drip. Drip. Drip. The rain is loud and crying.
You feel your reflection booming, you’re so wet.
It’s pounding hard, your now at the place where he chased you and
Told you he loved you. Drip. Drip. Drip.

No one but you are aware of the tears you choose to wear.
The rain is so fucking cold, colder than your lungs and weaker than your soul.
She spits at you, repeatedly. She takes you back to the time he breathed you, and
Promised you forever. Panic escapes your feet and you fall on your knees.

Trapped by the thought of the time he told me he was married, now.
I cling onto the ground that pushed me out into this “rain.”
Waiting for the next memory it wants to dish out, as I know lay on my hands.
I am at the place where I out to be, not focused on an ex who didn’t value me.

The rain it is no longer and am I’m in the process of standing on my two feet.
Right before I kiss the floor, thankful of what I mean to mean.
Fuck how “we” ended and what will never be.
The power of circumstance and what you grow to see.

Good Bye

You left before the forever.
Right after the I love you and
Before the first kiss,
And as soon as I accepted “it”, I mean us.
I didn’t trust us, didn’t give you too much time.
So you left me, thinking I didn’t deserve a good-bye.

I got to throw it out there,
I cried.
Cried like you snatched my blanket,
out of my mouth.

Now I smile, smile
Only because I am over being forgotten.
You weren’t the one,
Wasn’t even worth a memory.
I never got to tell you what you mean to me.

But I hear it now,
The weak laugh
And small nod saying, if only and if maybe.
I gave up loving and I am threw caring,
About the goodbye you walked out on,
For the check you have yet to receive.

Butterflies

Warm sure feeling,
co-exists with my lungs and
it is all so clear.
Our lips they match.
It's intense,
baby my heart wants this.

Your lips, those pink beautiful lips,
and you next to me,
just next to me,
i'm suddenly feeling like we co-exist.

Breath-taking, more than an weak attempt to
stop running.
Remember, when we in the glass jar,
as caterpillars.
I ran from you, ran away so fast.
You ran away too.
But look at us now,
accepting our circumstance of no more
than now.

Kiss

He walks so slowly.
I walk slower, in place of his shadow
That I can’t help but not be able to see.
I smell him as I linger onto his presence,
His showered smell,
Excites me, thrills me.

We will sleep,
Simply sleep once we enter his house,
It’s our way of making love to one another.
I fail to kiss him,
Forget, how bad I want too.
I just can’t, it hasn’t happened in my dreams yet.

How I act in my dreams, I act the same when I am awake,
Young, real young minded.
Your mine, yet I still find myself crushing over you.
In my dream world, I see you so much more.
Daily popped up visits.

Stretched out, as you are knocked out,
Finger in your mouth, eyes closed.
I kiss the side of your lip
There is no dream, it’s just us.
Finally,
I am no longer afraid to fall.

Stay

There is this huge
Black gate up
Between us, you can see me.
You just can’t touch me,
Or understand me.

It’s as if we are in the same train station,
Middle class, and can’t speak because we are
On different platforms.
Yelling.

We are right here.
I refuse to make eye contact,
It’s my way with making love to you.
I need this.
You near, the feeling is enough.
I regret nothing, so far.

I wish I could show you how GREAT I am.
But soon enough, the likes of pussy willing to come
Thrown at you, because of your complexion.
I need you near for who you are not what you are.
Hopefully this is enough to make you stay
Despite the lack of tightness, I throw at you.

Promise

I was an infatuation
Something you wanted because I was there
Happiness eruptued because I believed you cared
Not the type of girl to even care my
Problem was us
I didn’t trust us.

Boy, did I want us.
I wanted us quite more than you want that pay increase
With your fake ass marriage,
You don’t even know what marriage means.

I never got over those lips,
Promised myself I would never kiss another.
You promised you would never go I was yours forever.
But a promise is just word to you.

Hidden behind what I mean to you,
nothing but a promise.

Perfect Boyfriend

This is courtesy of a Formspring question :

The perfect boyfriend is legally independent, makes me laugh,tall, morals, respects woman, doesn’t talk to me for the way I look. Doesn’t attempt to change me only help me grow. A mind of there own. Realistic of life. They have to take me out. I love hanging out.

Love Him

Love him
Despite his bullet wounds
and irregular smile.

Love him
because you want to,
not because you have to.

Love him
for him
not because you want to feel what you witness.